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"because [I] don't like Unearthed and want more reasons for hating it"

Trying to second-guess your friends or DM is neither polite nor productive. I like Unearthed enough to play with the rules from it. Caveliers are broken because:
-they advance faster than paladins
-they have automatic stat raising
-they essentially have specialization (bonuses to hit, attack as 5 levels higher for attacks/round, extra damage with lance, not to mention said increases of str each level)
-mind spell immunity of 90%
-weapon parry skills
-minimal in-game restrictions on conduct

If the rate of advancement was slowed down to that of barbarians, it'd be okay.

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Drow elf light penalties are in UA. I know because I just checked, and checked earlier before combat began; mjyoung didn't make them up.

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Ya the haikus are awesome. Mark is probably still soliciting lines, so if you've got a great phrase in 5 or 7 syllables, email it to him to increase the weirdness.